Relationships???

Woohoo!!!! So proud f myself for not procrastinating and even being one of the first 10 to post!! =)


When it comes to marriage, what is it all about? Is marriage based on the deep emotional connection two individuals have for each other; or the superficial physical connection? No matter what it is, marriage can be interpreted in so many different ways depending on each individual. In the poems A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning by John Donne and Conjoined by Judith Minty, both authors uses figurative language such as metaphors, similes, imagery, and diction to convey their contrasting definitions of what they believe marriage should be: a indefinable, long lasting connection for Donne and one of needed space in some sort of confinement for Minty.

In Donne’s A Valediction, marriage is considered as something sacred and never-ending and several metaphors are used to portray this. For example, the first stanza of the poem goes like “As virtuous men pass mildly away, and whispers to their souls to go… and some say, No” (lines 1-4). This phrase means that even though the men are dead, there should be no real goodbye because in reality the person will alive in your heart. It symbolizes how in a relationship the emotional connection between two people can overpass death itself. Another example is in the third stanza, “Moving of th’ earth brings harm and fears…but trepidation of the spheres…is innocent” (lines 9-12). By comparing a marriage to the earth in a way the authors is saying that the connection and love between the two individuals in a marriage is bigger than the world around them. Nothing will be able to interfere in this relationship even if it is his departure. Also, when the poem comes to an end, the third to the last stanza is another metaphor of what a marriage/relationship should resemble. “If they be two… as stiff twin compasses are two…makes no show to move, but doth, if th’ other do” (lines 25-28). It is a perfect final example to use to model a relationship. The metaphor of the compass shows that even though he has passed, his passing doesn’t he is leaving her for good, but instead the strong connection between the two is only becoming bigger and bigger the farther he goes. Furthermore, like a circle being drawn from a compass, the man is saying no matter what he will eventually return back to where he first started, to where his soul mate will be.

Minty starts off her poem by describing an onion sitting in a cupboard, “a monster, actually two joined under one transparent skin…then flat and deformed where it pressed and grew against each other” (lines 1-4). The imagery that the reader first reads perfectly starts off the author’s opinion about marriage. When she talks about the onion becoming flat and deformed after pressed against each other in the cupboard to grow it resembles how after a couple becomes married and starts living together they no longer have their individuality and personal space. The couple will sooner or later become one in practically everything they do. They will no longer have the ability to branch out to go their own directions. In addition, the second stanza begins with the simile “like the two-headed calf…fighting to suck at its mother’s teats” (lines 5-6) and ends with “like those other freaks, Chang and eng…doomed to live, even make love, together for sixty years” (lines 7-9). The simile of the calf symbolizes how in a marriage it sometimes includes fights and disagreements after time if there is no breathing space to cool down. Even in a marriage, being together 24/7 is not so ideal. Similarly, the simile of the twins represents the same idea of the necessary personal space.

However, even though each poem is a contradiction of the other, there is still somewhat of a similarity between the two. In both poems the concept of the connection between twp people in a relationship is taken into consideration and in the end both concentrate on the emotional and physical connection. Even though each one picks one to focus on more that the other, they both use similar methods to present their ideas. Both authors carefully uses their choice of diction to show depict their views of a relationship. Donne uses words such as “mildly”, “whisper”, “no tear’floods”, and “expansion” to show that the connection between two individuals is unbreakable and grand enough to go through anything. There is no need for sadness or tears when there is a separation because emotionally the two are still tied together. As for Minty’s Conjoined, the diction used in the poem such as “monster”, “deformed”, “accident”, “freaks”, and “doomed” gives off a negative impression of being joined together for life. Minty makes it sound as though marriage is something that should not happen and even something she may consider as a burden. The attachment is too much to handle and could possible ruin an individual.

Overall, the authors’ views about relationships are clearly shown through the figurative languages used by each poet. Donne uses mostly metaphors to symbolize the connection between two people in a relationship as a deep emotional connection that can span any length when put under any circumstances. As for Minty, she use more similes and choice of diction to get her point across that sometime a relationship may be too overbearing for the individuals involved. Eventually, one would lose all individuality and become one with the other.